It’s common knowledge to those of us in the science community that spiders (known to the more educated as arachnids), are actually the direct descendants of giant lizards, monsters, the devil, Stephen King, and cats.

Now this is an Olympic event I can get into. The suspense!

It’s time to dust off your copy of Hagakure and put that warrior spirit to good use. There’s a plague of evil wannabe samurais loose in the fields, and they need their bodies separated from their heads - post haste!

So this is why so many hip-hop songs are obnoxiously vocoded these days.

I’m still not sold on this whole gravity business. I know a while back we determined that gravity makes pooping more pleasant, but beyond that I’m still not seeing many positives. In my version of heaven I’m just floating around town in my underwear. Oh, and don’t forget about the puppies. There are floating puppies everywhere.

All that’s missing is a stove for the cats to slam into.

So you call yourself a gamer?

Driving is really confusing, but this video straightened some things out for me. Now I never leave home without a bag of fireworks and a lighter.

There is a great war waging among the stars above us. A war that only non-epileptics can win.

I remember the good ‘ol days when Vice Presidential picks weren’t publicity stunts.

I have been called many things in my time… lover, fighter, hero, douchebag, and yes, even a maverick.

Learn about the importance of personal hygiene from a couple of creepy marionettes and a scary clown.

There’s nothing I like more on a Friday night than kicking back with a good flash game, a buttery Chardonnay, and a brick of aged Swiss. What about you?

This cat loves baths more than I do. Maybe we should bathe together, or would that be wrong?

Way back in 1972, a company called Atari released what many people believe was the first ever video game. And today, 36 years of human and technological advancement has finally brought us the sequel.

This YouTube video of the new Wario Land game is really clever. I didn’t even realize what was happening at first.

I always face a bit of a moral quandary when I post a game involving drugs. In the end I usually dedide that it’s not my place to try and tell you whether or not I think drugs are bad. That’s something you have to decide on your own. By taking mountains of drugs. And seeing if they make you feel awesome or not.

This must have been what the parties I didn’t get invited to in highschool were like.

This is Loops of Zen, sequel to the lesser known but equally enjoyable game, Poops of Zen. Played by me. This morning. On the toilet.

Some people must have been born without the ability to realize when an idea is truly dumb.